To Sev with love..

I always had a soft corner for Severus, since the first book, since the first encounter, long before the deathly hallows. I think I knew that behind his strange demeanour, despite the uncouthness, there would (must) be an untold story of love and hatred, sense of longing long lost in the pursuit of power and superiority. Most of it, i would like to think, came from the abomination, the hostility with which he spent his childhood and adolescence, which made him edge towards the wrong path.

Certainly, he did realise his mistake, although he was too late. Afterall, remorse cleared him off the misdeeds and was willing to make up for it. No matter if its wizarding world or the muggle world, LOVE is the magic word, the word which heals all the pain, shows us the right path and leads us onto thus. Not to forget, it also usher us to fight wars and kill people. Severus said he could do anything for his love (He loved Lily for nearly all his life and he loved her alone, none else. Eventhough he knew she can not be his, he only desired for her safety. Her presence is all he needed. It was enough that he knew he loved her, no matter if she even cared about him).

I owe him, my deepest respect and love for his sheer act of bravery and the long lasting love. At the end, Harry says that Severus is the bravest man he has ever seen, I completely agree with him...

P.S: Joanne made me fall in love with wizarding world and all the characters in there. I know its weird to write about Severus Snape of all, but I think its one the beautiful characters she has created, nevertheless less talked about.

ಅವ್ವ

ನೀಲಿ ಗಗನದ ಅಂಚಲ್ಲಿ, ಮಂದಗಾಳಿಯ ಸೆರಗಲ್ಲಿ
ಮೂಡಣದ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಕರಗಿ ಮರೆಯಾಗುವ ಸಮಯ;
ಸಂಧ್ಯಾರಾಗಕೆ ಮರಗಿಡಗಳು ತಲೆದೂಗಿ
ನಿದ್ರಾದೇವತೆಯ ತೆಕ್ಕೆಯೇರುವ ಮುನ್ನ
ನಿನ್ನ ಮಡಿಲೇರುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನೆನಪು ಇನ್ನೂ ಕಾಡುತಿಹುದು ನನ್ನ
ಪರದಿಂದಿಳಿದು ಇಳೆಗೆ ಇಳಿದ ದೇವ ಪುತ್ಥಳಿಯೋ
ನನ್ನ ಪಾಲಿನ ದೇವತೆಯೇ ಸರಿ
ನಿನ್ನ ನೆರಳಿಗಾಗಿ, ನಿನ್ನ ಸನಿಹದ ನೆಮ್ಮೆದಿಯ ಅಲೆಗಾಗಿ
ತಹತಹಿಸುವ ಮರಿಚಿಟ್ಟೆಯ ಹಾಗಿದ್ದೆ,
ನಿನ್ನ ಸೆರಗಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಜೋಪಾನವಾಗಿ ಬಚ್ಚಿಟ್ತಿದ್ದೆ ನೀನು;
ಮೇರು ಕ್ಷಿತಿಜದ ಕವಲುಗಳ ಹಾಗೆ
ನಿನ್ನ ಕಬಂಧ ಬಾಹುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಶರಣಾಗತಳಾಗಿದ್ದೆ
ಎಷ್ಟೋ ಬವಣೆಗಳ ನಡುವಲ್ಲು ಮಾಸದ ಮೊಗದ ಮಂದಹಾಸ
ಮಹಾನದಿಯ ಮೌನ ಗಾಂಬೀರ್ಯ, ಅಗಾಧ ಆತ್ಮವಿಶ್ವಾಸ
ನಿನ್ನ ಸಹನೆಗೆ, ನಿನ್ನ ಸಹಿಷ್ಣುತೆಗೆ ಸಾಟಿಯುಂಟೆ ಎಲ್ಲೂ
ನನ್ನವ್ವ,
ಇಂದು ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ಬಹುದೂರ ಹಾರಿರುವೆ
ಬರುವೆನೊಮ್ಮೆ ಬರಿದೆ ಮನದಿ, ನಿನ್ನೊಲವು ತುಂಬೆನ್ನ
ತನುಮನದಿ
ಜಗವನೆದುರಿಸಲು, ನೀ ತೋರಿದ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ
ಜಗಕೆ ಧಾರೆಯೆರೆಯಲು
ನಿನ್ನ ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲೇ ನಾ ನಡೆಯಲು..

P.S : This one s for you mom, miss you so very much

Happy Mothers Day!!

- Sh

A journey on train!

Travelling is always fun and exciting. When I say I love travelling, it doesnot necessarily mean that I like to travel to different places, visit exotic locations, meet differently indifferent people. Its just the moments when I am on moving, I relish each and every minute, enjoy the little differences in the same routine, going on in the train and outside it. The silhouettes across the window sill, daily chores of the countryside, the faraway houses and farms and the sea and the people, always make me wonder, the world is such a beautiful place to live. Although I would be on the train/bus, my mind would go dancing around, with the heart singing aloud with the mesmerizing beauty. Its not perfect, but yet its so normal, so alike back home. Everything makes me feel that I belong here, this is my home at the moment, I am not an alien anymore.

I usually spend around 14 hours every weekend in my beloved train. I eat, drink, sleep, read, write, do everything while I am on the train. Even this post is written while I am onboard. This is a little tribute to the lovely train which takes me to the place I love and brings me back home safe and soon. 

Here it comes, with the whistling sound,

My little train,  comes jolting around

With only 3 coaches, painted red, white and blue,

Running miles ahead, leaving behind misty hue.

Green grass and tall trees, moving quite fast,

Cutting castles in ruins and the shadows they cast

Stream running  close with water so pure

Is that a fish in there? I am not so sure

Kids always kids, making a mess!

Noise they make, Is that any less?

Man in the corner, looks so serene

With crosswords and puzzles, training his brain.

Child next to me with voice very sweet,

Each and every word, he would repeat;

Girl over there, in her novel she's engrossed

In the dreams of the pages, I think she's lost

Rain drops like dew, making weird shapes

Clouds all grey, with fog over the capes

Can't predict the weather, with rain pitter-patter

Its too cold, please close the shutter.

Next moment sun's glaring at you

Oh! have to wait, we are in a queue.

Crossings, I know would cause much delay,

But please go on time atleast today.

Just like a blink, time flies away

The end indeed, is not far away

Travelling always is a blitheful bliss

Fun and all fun when nothing's amiss.

My stop has arrived, the place I dwell

With a heart so heavy I bid farewell

I can't stay forever, you ought to know

You'd always have a place in my heart, I need not show.

-Sh.

( The poem is about mainly south west trains, but the photo is my favourite yet a bit stupid, grand central trains)

Glimpses and Glances..

I Love  my Nokia E71.. Mainly for the reason that I can preserve most of the memories in the form of photos, no hassles of carrying a camera all the time. Besides, it has loads of features including free internet whenever, wherever ( only if I have signal!). Only downside is 3G - horrible network. Nevertheless, network in Hartlepool is better. I would have signal in most of the places.

I was just going through the photos I had captured in my cell, thought I would upload some on my blog as well. Majority relates to the weather in England. Lets start with flowers, they are always splendid..

ನನ್ನ ಪುಟ್ಟ ದೇವರ ಮನೆ.. flowers from my garden..

Rose plant in the garden on a warm sunny morning..

ಕೆಂಪು ಗುಲಾಬಿ.. ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲ, ತಿಳಿಗೆಂಪು ಬಣ್ಣದ್ದು..

A white rose as seen through the window..

I really donno the name of this flower..

This is definitely not from my garden, I don't have Tulips :(

Looks like a wild flower or may be inflorescence. I have left my Botany in 12 th class, I guess..

Same flower as above, it was same colour as well. But I don't know why there is difference..

ಪುಟಾಣಿ ಹೂವು..

Actually I was searching for any dew drop. Can you guys see any?

Ah! One of my favorites.. ಜೇಡರ ಬಲೆಗೆ ಇಬ್ಬನಿ ಹನಿಗಳ ಅಲಂಕಾರ..

 
With the beginning of winter...

Flora started to shed their clothes.. Sorry! Leaves.. I meant..

Pavement covered with fallen leaves..ಕಾಲ್ಗಳಅಡಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಉದುರಿದ ಎಲೆಗಳ ಹಾಸಿಗೆ..

Last of the leaves bidding farewell, can't wait to meet the mother earth

ಕಾರ್ಮೋಡ ಮಳೆಯಾಗಿ ಸುರಿದಾಗ ಕಣ್ಣ ಹನಿಗೆ ಮುಕ್ತಿ..

Plain trees, lost all their leaves..

Beginning to snow.. My first footsteps on snow:)

ಕೃಷ್ಣ ಜನ್ಮಾಷ್ಟಮಿಯೇ? ಯಾರದಿ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಗುರುತುಗಳು?

Tits and bits of snow..

Hospice.. next to my accommodation..

A closer look..

My Hospital..

Through the window in the hospital..

ಕಣ್ಣು ಹರಿಯುವವರೆಗೂ ಹಿಮವೇ..

ಇವು ನನ್ನ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಗುರುತುಗಳು.

Some of the miscellaneous ones...

"ಎಷ್ಟು ಸಾರಿ ಹೇಳೋದು? ರಸ್ತೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಒಬ್ಬಳೇ ಹೋಗಬೇಡ ಅಂತ.. ಅತ್ತಿತ್ತ ಯಾವ್ದಾದ್ರೂ ಕಾರ್ ಬರ್ತಿದ್ಯಾ ಅಂತ ಕೂಡ ನೋಡಲ್ಲ.."

 "ನಿನಗ್ ಎಷ್ಟು ಸಾರ್ತಿ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರು ಅಷ್ಟೇ.. ನನ್ನ ಮಾತ್ ಎಲ್ಕೆಳ್ತೀಯ? ಏನಾದ್ರೂ ಮಾಡ್ಕೋ.. ನಾನ್ ಹೊರಟೆ.."

Lush green landscape with North sea on the other side.. This is from a moving train..

Harry Potter mania..

Nothing like drinking a hot costa coffee on a chilly evening..

Myself obsessed with the shoes..

Forgot to upload it before.. Heavily snowing at night captured through my window..

Courtesy: My Nokia E 71.

-Sh.

Dusk and the dawn!!

Another year... With the end of 2010 and the advent of 2011, our voyage continues into the depths of our lives, with ups and downs, not to mention though. New year is meant to bring joy and happiness, wipe the sorrows, forget the past misfortunes, anticipate the best to strike upon, ain't it? I have a weird feeling that the beginning of the year has not been fair to me, or has it been? I have been on call since 31 st night, 4 days for now. Night on calls are the times which could pose new challenges, present more problems ( most like jigsaw puzzles, trying to make sense out of it:( ).

Often in the wards, I hear the conversation. 

"Don't get startled, my hands might be freezing, love".

"No worries, flower. Doctors have cold hands and warm hearts".

Are we really warmhearted? May be. We might not have given a thought.

I seldom connect emotionally with my patients nowadays ( sometimes could make things worse). Not long back, when I was a medical student, I used to feel all the patient like my near and dear ones. Glad to see smile on their faces when they get discharged, well & fit. Glad to have chosen a profession where I could, in my own way, help people reduce atleast a wee bit of their pain and sufferings, bring some peace. But, sometimes, when things are not in order, it feels really miserable. I recall, memories still fresh & raw, when I had cried the whole day for a 6 month old baby (whom i liked the most) who died. If I, who had seen him for a couple of weeks, would feel that way, I could hardly imagine how his mother would have felt. How I wish I could do something. But, everything is not in our hands, are they? When the nice, little lady down the ward, not managing to take even a lungful of air, asks me, "Will I be ok, love?" I try hard to resist tears rolling down my cheeks. It is such a difficult task to intelligently phrase the answer, neither giving false hopes, nor stealing away the little flicker of hope she would have.

These four days have been really awful, I have seen death more close enough than ever before, seen best of my patients in the last moments of their lives, patients being normal all the time and suddenly deteriorated and died before my eyes. These four days have made me soft at heart and stronger in mind, thought me perseverance. Life is more complicated than we expect it to be and short as well. And it is important to make the most of it. There is a nice saying.

"Life is the lust of a lamp for the light that is dark till the dawn of the day when we die" - A C Swineburne.

We often don't realise what we are blessed with, yearn for what is not ours. Eventhough we all know, at the bottom of our hearts that giving is better than taking, we don't act frequently upon. 


ಗೋಪಾಲಕೃಷ್ಣ ಅಡಿಗರ ಕವಿತೆ ನೆನಪಾಗುತ್ತೆ,
 
"ಸಪ್ತಸಾಗರದಾಚೆಯೆಲ್ಲೋ ಸುಪ್ತಸಾಗರ ಕಾದಿದೆ,
ಮೊಳೆಯದರೆಗಳ ಮೂಕಮರ್ಮರ ಇಂದು ಇಲ್ಲಿಗೂ ಹಾಯಿತೇ?
ವಿವಶವಾಯಿತು ಪ್ರಾಣ, ಹಾ! ಪರವಶವು ನಿನ್ನಿ ಚೇತನ,
ಇರುವುದೆಲ್ಲವ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಇರದುದರೆಡೆಗೆ ತುಡಿವುದೆ ಜೀವನ.."


Atleast this year, let us make a resolution to help someone, light smile on a face, bring peace in their chaotic life, brighten a life, give a hope to live. That is what matters in the end.

"Wish  happy and a prosperous new year to one and all"


"ಹೊಸ ವರ್ಷದ ಹೊಸ್ತಿಲಲ್ಲಿ, ಹೊಸ ಕನಸುಗಳ ಜೋಕಾಲಿ,
ಹಳೆ ಬೇರುಗಳ ಬಲದಲಿ, ಹೊಸ ಚಿಗುರು ಚಿಗುರಲಿ,
ನವ ವಸಂತದ ಆಗಮನಕೆ ಮರಿಕೋಗಿಲೆಗಳ ಚಿಲಿಪಿಲಿ,
ಕಹಿ ನೆನಪುಗಳು ಕರಗಲಿ, ಹೊಸ ಹುರುಪು ಹೊಮ್ಮಲಿ,
ಹಸಿರು ತೋರಣ ಬಾಗಿಲಲಿ ತೂಗಲಿ, ಎಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲೂ ಸಂತಸದ ಅಲೆಗಳು ತೇಲಲಿ,
ಹೊಸ ವರುಷವು, ಎಲ್ಲರಿಗೂ ಹರುಷವ ತರಲಿ."

"ಹೊಸ ವರ್ಷದ ಹಾರ್ದಿಕ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು"

-Sh.