Friday, 1 July 2016

Mocking Jay- Review

‘Very disappointed’. I am surprised that I gave 2 stars. Usually I tend to be liberal with my reviews, or have I become more conservative with the increase in number of books I am reading. This one certainly didn’t live up to my expectation of Grand finale. Is it because I miss old peeta so much? Is it because it made me hate Katniss more than ever? Or Am I being too judgemental?

I had a really hard time understanding what was happening. Well, that’s not totally unpredictable considering my inability to read in between the lines (I am working on it, really!). But the writing is not up to the mark with it being quite chaotic, repetitive and unsatisfying even. The story line which I thought would be riveting is only fair at the most. I am sure Suzanne Collins could do better.

The first book was marvellous, really amazing! What a gripping tale, strong almost strong characters. I loved each and every one including Gale and Katniss despite me being the one for ‘Team Peeta’. The second book made me adore Peeta, lost a little confidence with Katniss, but overall was a reasonable read.

There was such a good plot, so much hype and build up for something great to be discovered, but I felt utterly let down by the 3 rd book. Except for few scenarios here and there, Katniss is adrift in the realms of self-loathing and self-pity, throughout the book. This is not the Katniss we were introduced to in ‘The Hunger games’. Many of the scenes are so lame if I can call that. May be I am too old to be reading teenage stuff, but still I thought that they deserve better. The ending is exactly what I Imagined wanted it to be when I finished the first book. Nevertheless I am far from being content. Because the ending seems so incongruent and unreasonable. Well, in my view this Mocking Jay didn’t deserve neither Gale nor Peeta.


I actually want to rant about what all I would like to change in the story, but that would be showing too much spoilers there. (Hint: Lot less killing and of course, complete makeover of Katniss’s attitude towards others and herself). OK, fine, I will just stop now with one more line. It’s Ok, but it could be better.

-Sh

Thursday, 30 June 2016

DON QUIXOTE- A REVIEW

Many thanks to Stockton reading challenge which made me revisit my childhood memories and read a novel which I devoured as a child. I still remember frantically searching for books that I could read among the heap of old newspaper at the paper recycling shop during my school days. I got all excited when I found this amazing novel mainly because of its reputation during the time of revolution (We were reading all about the revolution, Cervantes’s Don Quixote and Dante’s Divine Comedy at school and I could boast that I read one of them!!) It didn’t fail to live up to my expectation then and it didn’t fail now either.


It’s amazing, how a person could create such unique characters. Knight and the Squire who are made for each other with their lively conversations. It’s hard not to be respectful of the Knight, Don Quixote de la Mancha, Knight of the Lions, formerly known as Knight of the Long face. Mad yet polite, Brave yet humorous... The novel, although written 400 years ago, still feels fresh as grass, and so relevant. There is the right dose of Courage, insanity, humour, heart-warming nobility and striking reality. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Long live the knight errant! Long live the Squire!! And long live Cervantes!!!

Saturday, 9 January 2016

Life Unlimited!!

2016 has begun... In the last few weeks, I have reminisced all those years which have flown past me. 29 of those years. thousands of moments, millions of emotions. Now that I am nearing the big 30, I am panicking. Why am I panicking? What have I done in the last 29 years? What have I achieved? Have I realized any of my dreams? Did I have dreams? Looking at all that I have done in the past, I haven't done anything I really, desperately wanted to do. I did dream, I dreamed of different things, I tried my hand at different things, but the stream of normality was just too strong. I just sailed with others, beside others, shattering my dreams and the differences. I did dream, but I wasn't motivated enough, didn't try enough. Lest I would have been living a different life.

Do I dream , how my life would be if I made the 'other' choices? Nope!I don't live in dreamland. It is a very hypothetical situation, I can only make assumptions with no way to confirm those assumptions, so no point wasting time on it. Do I regret anything? I tell myself that I regret many of my choices. I could have been better. But to be candid, deep down in my heart, I don't regret any of my decisions. They were part of me, they were by the part of me which was not mature enough, not strong enough, not brave enough. But I respect that part as it has tried very hard to learn, to improve and to become who i am today. And I am still learning. I am nothing without that part.

During childhood, we are curious, never afraid to dream big. But we need great mentor, good opportunities, and relevant exposure to wide range of information and support, so that we can choose what is best for us. If we don't have that, then we tend to think that our dreams are too big to realize and shrink it day by day, year by year. Dreams change, they change to fit into the contemporary. Why? We secretly resist change, we don't want to look or feel different to others, we want to get along with others. What others think is more important than what we think of ourselves.

All these years, I have grown bit by bit. I have achieved things which I never thought of. I am awfully proud of that. But I have not reached that threshold in my life, where I want to swear by my heart and say, "I love my life, this is what I want from my life, and this is who I want to be for the rest of my life until I breathe my last breath". I am constantly searching for that little door which will lead me to the above line. Lot of trial and error, but I don't mind trying even if I fail.I have lost a lot of opportunities during this process, just because of my attitude, pure lack of effort and procrastination. I need to change, I have the potential and willpower to change. I try to visualize the perfect future me everyday, but I just have a blurry glimpse of it. I am trying to tweak the jigsaw pieces to make them come together to make a clearer picture. What is it I want in the end? To be successful in my career? To be more family oriented? To save the world from misery? May be a mixture of all? I don't know yet.

I have written a list of things that I want to achieve this year, and I have accountability partners. But they are very superfluous, materialistic, selfish. But they are a way forwards to achieve the new me. For the rest of my life, I want to be happy, free and make peace with myself, others and the world, whatever that might mean. I need to say yes to all the opportunities that come along my way, I need to let go of things that are holding me back, I need to work hard on my dreams, I need to stick with my goals, I need to read more and write more, I need to be motivated, be inspired and inspire others, I need to express gratitude, I need to better my communication, I need to make more friends. I need to do a lot of things, and I need to be a lot of things. But what I really need to do is 'enjoy the process while I do it, be alive during the journey, and live in the moment'. The end result is not important, I might win, I might not. But the journey will always be in my memory beside me. May be not the whole journey, but the feelings associated with my journey will be safely locked away in the Amygdala of my brain, bookcase of mine not easily shaken away.

With all this in my mind, I welcome this new year with open heart and open arms. I have 365 blank pages (Well , 355 now) to write my story, be it a better one. Here's a cheer to the new year and a new 'ME'- happy, free and at peace!!

Much Love
Sh

Sunday, 1 November 2015

Weekend Oncalls!!- IaminworkJeremy

Days roll and nights come, winter breeze and sun that's hot,
Weekdays and weekends, the difference that I know not;
For the doctor I am, busy saving lives so,
Bliss in I was, doing the best job on earth, I know.

I do work 24X7 already, Dear Jeremy thinks I don't,
Well! what does he know to be in our shoes, that he won't,
Prioritise that i do, who should I see first,
Lives that we heal while hiding our needs that we must.

Little old lady, who fell off the stairs and broke her hip or
The girl who is so sick, she is scoring NEWS which is way more
Or the young fella who has overdosed and lying in the shiver
And the man who is bleeding everywhere as he has damaged his liver

All of those are mine, and I tend them with care and my heart
Wish my job would be so much easy, if staffing were not always short
Green eyes I do have, when I see others enjoying the weekends
Hardly see my family while trying to meet the ends

I am in work Jeremy, weekends or weekdays,
I don't care that you think saturdays are mondays,
But I do want my pay, coz I have worked very hard so,
And I still do, and always try to be the best I know.

-
Sh

P.C: Thanks Dimple for asking me to write poem and shruthi for the topic!! And Vaidu, next one will be for you!!

Friday, 1 May 2015


Chickenfeed by Minette Walkers: A review

I read Chickenfeed recently as a part of world book night campaign in my local library. Here we are supposed to pick up a book based on the review by others (you wouldn’t know which book it is until you open at home to start reading it). I deliberately picked up a smaller book as I hardly get time to read. I can take ages to finish a novel at times. But this book, luckily, was a quick read, literally!!

It’s a good read, couldn’t put it down at all. One of the very few books I have read in one stretch. I assume it was partly because it was a quick read and the other fact that it was very compelling made it difficult to pause. Although I knew what would happen at the end, even before starting the novel, I would like to think I was in a slightly better position in comprehending what had happened and the reasons behind it.

Minette Walkers has painted a very lucid picture of the character Norman Thorne and Elsie Cameron. Pretty normal sounding guys right? Well, they are!! But, don’t you think it is difficult to define normalcy. The understanding of these two characters is the fundamental basis of this novel. Story flows seamlessly and one would be so absolved in the psyche of the characters. When you are finished, I am sure there will be a can of worms digging in your little brain.

The story is simple- a crime/ suicide? Not sure. It’s a true story that happened many a decades ago in Crowborough in UK. You can easily look up the story online. After reading, this novel actually made me get off my seat and search for the actual story online. Some believe that Norman Thorne is innocent and Elsie was a tad bit crazy (sorry for the choice of words- probably suffering from a mental health disorder which was not accurately diagnosed/ treated). But Some others hold onto their intense belief that Norman Thorne was the killer. I don’t blame either, as they have their own reasons. This is a novel where in the true story is retold by the above characters as protagonists, and this is their story. We wouldn’t probably be able to understand what exactly happened as they both are long dead now. But after finishing the novel, I don’t deny that I sometimes wonder if Norman Thorne’s life was wasted at a young age of 22.

Its very easy to like Norman. What’s not to like in a young 19 yr old, made redundant of a proper job, trying to hold his platform, struggling to set up a career by himself? But there are lots of mistakes he made throughout his short life. Falling in love with Elsie is not one among them. When you have just fallen in love, you don’t realise what kind of personality your loved ones exhibit (in long term). By the time you understand that this relationship is too fragile and worst of all, dangerous to both, it might be too late. Norman had multiple opportunities to break up with Elsie, but he didn’t want a confrontation, he just wanted an easy way out which was agreeing to all her whims. If he couldn’t get out of it in the beginning, it’s obvious that he wouldn’t be able to get out of it later. I don’t understand why he didn’t see that coming. On the rare chance that he had married Elsie, I still think the end would be almost similar (or may be opposite). Will killing chickens all day had filled him with so much apathy towards a living being that he didn’t flinch while cutting her into pieces and then burying her? Or did she turn him into a person who not only didn’t love her, but had lost all respect towards her as a human being? This one fact is not very justifiable if we want to prove him not guilty.

Coming to Elsie, with her possessiveness, mentality of blaming others for her faults, and her constantly fluctuating emotions with threats of self harm, she comes across as overbearing and eccentric. Most of the traits of her character correlates with the Borderline personality disorder. People close to her, especially her parents, could have identified it and possibly sought medical help earlier. I do feel sympathetic towards her, but it’s hard to like her (atleast in the novel). But that doesn’t mean someone could just kill her because of that. People are different and many a times difficult. We always have a choice whether to do what we want to do or not (I stress we do have choice but we choose one decision over the other, influenced by many things- your past, present circumstances, how it would affect your loved ones and so on).I am not saying what happened actually, because I don’t know. This novel doesn’t promise you the truth behind the crime, doesn't tell you who did what(if that's what you are looking for), but it gives an idea, or lets put it this way, It gives a better understanding of the people involved and their circumstances. After all, we are the puppets of our circumstances, right?

-Sh
P.S: This is only my opinion, and I have the right to my opinion. I am not pointing fingers or making assumptions. If you don’t agree, Please comment in the comment box so we can have a discussion rather than you know?

Sunday, 4 January 2015

Bye-bye 2014 and Hello 2015!!

Well, another year is gone and has brought a new gift packed  365 day book, which we can utilise to our desire. This is the time of year when we tend to reflect about what happened in the last year and what we could have changed, but didn't; what could be improved upon and how we can do it this year, don't we? Yup!! I am doing the same for the last 1 week. I won't tire you with all my past failures and successes, but will leave this post for the plans for this year. I had some resolutions for the year 2012, but didn't follow them through. I didn't have any for 2013, still did few of them without even realising that they were the resolutions of 2012. And so I have  found out that I am rubbish at sticking to my resolutions. Nevertheless, here comes the plans for this new year 2015. These are not just resolutions, but my plans for the next few years and what I need to do from now. I am sharing it here, so that will be one of the reasons I am going to stick to them this year.

I have been doing some research regarding new year resolutions and how to make them so I can stick to them. I have found some good advise on the internet (mainly Addicted to success.com and Ted website). These points are worth taken into consideration.

1) Goals matter- Choose a goal that is important to you rather than an easy win or just because someone else is doing it.
2) Break them- main long term goals, short term goals and daily/weekly goals- and these should be interlinked in a way that daily goals should lead to short term goals and then inturn help you achieve your longterm goals
3) Goals / success criteria have to be clear cut- SMART (Specific, measurable, attainable, reproducible and time bound)
4) Frame your goals positively
5) Visualise yourself succeed
6) Do one at a time
7) Prepare for failure (Nothing wrong in failing occasionally but that should be a stepping stone for the next success than sulking about it and forgetting the whole process)
8) Focus on the process, not the outcome
9) Reward yourself
10) Last but not the least, have fun and know in your heart that you CAN do it.

Lets get to the resolutions then, eh? I have broken them into categories- Career/ work related, Personal and Others, just for sake of ease.

CAREER/ WORK RELATED

I won't bore you to death with these. I will be succinct. In 3-4 years, I am going to finish my general practice training for which I need to have completed- AKT/ CSA/ Audit (abbreviations are related to my exams). And my weekly goal is- 2 hours for self study, 1 hour for e-portfolio and 1 hour for extras. (Don't have to worry much about them, they will be accomplished without much fuss. I always get them done, trouble is with personal ones)

PERSONAL

In the last year I have been through a lot of stress and that has made me less productive, and often I have been resorting to low mood and being frustrated. Overall it has turned me into a 'not so' nice person to be with ( I was once a genuinely nice person, as commented by others). These are some of the lessons I have learnt and will try to put them in everyday and will work towards building a good relationship with myself and others as well.

Be happy- life is short for stress/ vengeance / hatred.
Live in the moment
Be grateful for the things you have in your life
Love all despite their nuances- after all they are human beings
Forgive and forget
Let go of past and make peace with present
Think positively
Patience and kindness is a virtue- speak softly, gently, no point in getting frustrated or angry over things you can't control. (If you can control them, you know what to do)
Beware! children learn from you

These are quite subjective and I will try to keep them in mind every day of my life as I do believe in them. On a bigger note, I have been following lots of motivational websites, Ted talks and I want to consciously live and improve my life. So I am going to follow few of the advise from there.

5 AM CLUB

My biggest challenge is to wake up at 5 am (or 5:30 at the least) and do something productive in the morning. I have always been a night owl, but I think I would benefit from being a morning person. And I have planned the morning with 20-20-20. That is 20 min of exercise/ meditation, 20min of planning for the day and 20 min for motivational reading/ Ted talks.

NIGHT CLUB

Again with 20-20-20. 20 min of reading or writing, 20min of To do list for next day and 20 min of general reflection and gratitude.

WRITING

I hardly write these days, even in my diary, If i get an entry in my diary once a month thats quite significant. I need to write more, even if its about mundane things, its OK. Plan is for 1 article per week (mostly in my diary, so don't be much hopeful of my blog being filled with posts).

READING

I have also lost touch with reading, I have read- 5 books last year which i know is pathetic. It has been very difficult, but we need to make time for what we care. So I have to read 1 book a month and by the end of this year I should have read at least 12 books.

OTHERS

SWIMMING

I need to enrol my daughter in swimming classes this year. She will turn 2 this February. She should have been started early, but at least by the end of this year  she should have started the lessons. I think it is one the very essential skills of life.

LANGUAGE

I have been planning to learn a new language for a while, but didn't take it further. This year I have planned to learn Spanish, websites been looked at, I have bought CD and books and I have a partner in crime. So its fully geared this year. But I do know to start slow. So the first month is to learn 40 words (10 words per week) and then gradually increase. Outcome at the end of the year- I should be able to say simple sentences in Spanish, and be able to understand most of it.

HEALTH AND FITNESS

How can I forget health being a doctor? So I have included 20 min exercise/ meditation in the 5 am club, but will also learn Yoga/Zumba this year (I have a partner in crime for this as well, we are fully motivated this year)

So, Here it is 2015 as visualised by me, to be a new and better me. I know there are lots of them and might be difficult to keep all of them going. But I am hopeful. Cheers to 2015 with lots of hopes and faith! Happy new year to all of you!!

Sh!!

Thursday, 21 August 2014

I am that change!!

"I", Its not just another ordinary alphabet among 26 of them. But it is also one of the most influential letter or word in itself. It has the potential to change any sentence into a positive belief, into a hopeful conviction.

Here's a video I stumbled across facebook recently. I do stumble upon a lot of things on facebook, feel like writing about all of them, but not much time. Not sure why I chose this one, might find out by the end of this post.




Just another reason to fall in love with Allu Arjun. I would be very surprised if an Indian doesn't feel emotional after watching this sweet short film, Truly inspiring in simple terms. (Coming to feeling emotional, I have a lot to say which I ll be writing in another post)

I have always believed, and will continue to believe that India can change for good, but it will only improve when people (by that I mean Indians) change, and not only the politicians .(People with a capital P). When we can enjoy our rights, we have a responsibility to abide by the law and exercise our duty in a well befitted manner.

Some might argue, 'Does it matter if only 'I' change'. Ofcourse, It does! All of us are asking the same question subconsciously in one way or the other, aren't we? (Well, atleast most of them) And how would you know unless you start doing it? All the acts in the short film are such simple things, that we feel so casual about them thinking presuming that its ok to do them. But they are the basic foundation for the corruption. And these simple acts of honesty will eventually lead to a bigger change, a greater revolution and a better India. I am being very optimistic I guess. But, hey! whats there to lose by dreaming?

Yours
Sh!!

Monday, 23 July 2012

Back again!

WoW!! Its been so long since I was back on my blog. It seems like ages, infact, I haven't posted anything for a year now. I feel so bad :(

 Was I so busy? Feels like my little child has been lost amidst all the life's turns and twists and thats not looking good. I have been very busy with all the interesting and not so interesting things happening in my life that I have so less time for myself. Life goes on with or without anything. Its like the saying, 'Time and tide wait for none'. Same is with life, it waits for nobody. We just need to make sure we get the most of it.Make ourselves a little spare time for the things that we care about, things that we wish to do. Or else, life would be like a black and white movie minus all the spice and colour.

I have not been well for weeks now, hopefully it will get better by day. Also I am changing my rotation from a superbusy Gastromedicine posting to almost superbusy Paediatrics in August, which is not going to make things any better. (How I wish that my last statement will turn out to be false). Sometimes when I come home, I feel so tired. I just want to go back to my bed and sleep for England.

Well, enough of my yapping now. I am back blogging, and I hope I ll keep this child safe and sound from now onwards. Another thing, I havent betrayed all the bloggers whom I follow. I have been reading all your posts, though not able to comment. Google reader is to blame. There is no place to comment on the google reader. I ts very easy to read all the blogs while I am checking my mail. I dont have to open the blog. Its shows all the new posts which I have not read yet. Only disadvantage is I cannot comment. Now that I have restarted, should be able to keep in touch with all of you and hope you will too.

Bye for now,
Sh.

Friday, 19 August 2011

To Sev with love..

I always had a soft corner for Severus, since the first book, since the first encounter, long before the deathly hallows. I think I knew that behind his strange demeanour, despite the uncouthness, there would (must) be an untold story of love and hatred, sense of longing long lost in the pursuit of power and superiority. Most of it, i would like to think, came from the abomination, the hostility with which he spent his childhood and adolescence, which made him edge towards the wrong path.

Certainly, he did realise his mistake, although he was too late. Afterall, remorse cleared him off the misdeeds and was willing to make up for it. No matter if its wizarding world or the muggle world, LOVE is the magic word, the word which heals all the pain, shows us the right path and leads us onto thus. Not to forget, it also usher us to fight wars and kill people. Severus said he could do anything for his love (He loved Lily for nearly all his life and he loved her alone, none else. Eventhough he knew she can not be his, he only desired for her safety. Her presence is all he needed. It was enough that he knew he loved her, no matter if she even cared about him).

I owe him, my deepest respect and love for his sheer act of bravery and the long lasting love. At the end, Harry says that Severus is the bravest man he has ever seen, I completely agree with him...

P.S: Joanne made me fall in love with wizarding world and all the characters in there. I know its weird to write about Severus Snape of all, but I think its one the beautiful characters she has created, nevertheless less talked about.

Sunday, 8 May 2011

ಅವ್ವ

ನೀಲಿ ಗಗನದ ಅಂಚಲ್ಲಿ, ಮಂದಗಾಳಿಯ ಸೆರಗಲ್ಲಿ
ಮೂಡಣದ ಸೂರ್ಯ ಕರಗಿ ಮರೆಯಾಗುವ ಸಮಯ;
ಸಂಧ್ಯಾರಾಗಕೆ ಮರಗಿಡಗಳು ತಲೆದೂಗಿ
ನಿದ್ರಾದೇವತೆಯ ತೆಕ್ಕೆಯೇರುವ ಮುನ್ನ
ನಿನ್ನ ಮಡಿಲೇರುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನೆನಪು ಇನ್ನೂ ಕಾಡುತಿಹುದು ನನ್ನ
ಪರದಿಂದಿಳಿದು ಇಳೆಗೆ ಇಳಿದ ದೇವ ಪುತ್ಥಳಿಯೋ
ನನ್ನ ಪಾಲಿನ ದೇವತೆಯೇ ಸರಿ
ನಿನ್ನ ನೆರಳಿಗಾಗಿ, ನಿನ್ನ ಸನಿಹದ ನೆಮ್ಮೆದಿಯ ಅಲೆಗಾಗಿ
ತಹತಹಿಸುವ ಮರಿಚಿಟ್ಟೆಯ ಹಾಗಿದ್ದೆ,
ನಿನ್ನ ಸೆರಗಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಜೋಪಾನವಾಗಿ ಬಚ್ಚಿಟ್ತಿದ್ದೆ ನೀನು;
ಮೇರು ಕ್ಷಿತಿಜದ ಕವಲುಗಳ ಹಾಗೆ
ನಿನ್ನ ಕಬಂಧ ಬಾಹುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಶರಣಾಗತಳಾಗಿದ್ದೆ
ಎಷ್ಟೋ ಬವಣೆಗಳ ನಡುವಲ್ಲು ಮಾಸದ ಮೊಗದ ಮಂದಹಾಸ
ಮಹಾನದಿಯ ಮೌನ ಗಾಂಬೀರ್ಯ, ಅಗಾಧ ಆತ್ಮವಿಶ್ವಾಸ
ನಿನ್ನ ಸಹನೆಗೆ, ನಿನ್ನ ಸಹಿಷ್ಣುತೆಗೆ ಸಾಟಿಯುಂಟೆ ಎಲ್ಲೂ
ನನ್ನವ್ವ,
ಇಂದು ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ಬಹುದೂರ ಹಾರಿರುವೆ
ಬರುವೆನೊಮ್ಮೆ ಬರಿದೆ ಮನದಿ, ನಿನ್ನೊಲವು ತುಂಬೆನ್ನ
ತನುಮನದಿ
ಜಗವನೆದುರಿಸಲು, ನೀ ತೋರಿದ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ
ಜಗಕೆ ಧಾರೆಯೆರೆಯಲು
ನಿನ್ನ ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲೇ ನಾ ನಡೆಯಲು..

P.S : This one s for you mom, miss you so very much

Happy Mothers Day!!

- Sh