What a year 2020 has been! It sure has been a rollercoaster year and a really tough one for many of us. It might be the little joys of meeting friends and family that we have missed or the great sorrow of losing a loved one, we have all gone through the ups and downs of 2020 (mainly downs). We have never been so eager to welcome a new year and hope that it brings good luck, happiness and health and will be somehow better than 2020.
On New Year’s Eve, I heard a programme on BBC Radio 4, where people talked about what made them feel proud this year. Most of the answers were related to family and relationships. This year has emphasized the importance of family and friendship which we take for granted all too often. It’s the year where we spent more time with our children and our families, it’s the year when we clapped frontline workers and considered them heroes, it’s the year when ‘Black lives matter’ rocked the free world, it’s the year where we reduced our negative impact on the environment and gave it much needed breathing space, it’s the year where we came together for the betterment of the nation. There has been an array of positive things in between the overwhelming sickness, death and financial crisis.
While 2020 comes to an end, I took some time to reflect on some of the lessons I have learnt, where I need to let go of few things and embrace few new things and carry them forward. Well, they are not literal things, but more of general ideas.
5 things to let go as we enter the New Year
Negative thoughts and emotions
I know that there has been so much negativity during this year, but these negative thoughts only make our mental health worse and have no value in improving our life. We have to have hope as there is always light at the end of the tunnel. It’s easier said than done, and can be really hard for those who have lost a loved one, or life has been unfair to them. Remember, you are not alone and seek professional help if needed. Try to add variety to life, talk to friends and family, go out in fresh air, take care of yourself, and know that this feeling is temporary. They say it’s always darker before the dawn, and you will find the light in your life.
Toxic Relationships
Most of us know that some of the relationships that we are in are not in our best interest. Some people are constantly negative, jealous and try to pull you down. We need to stay away from them. There is no point in chasing people. If they want to go out of your life, that’s ok, let them go. If they were meant to be, they will come back. Also, if you are that toxic person in someone else’s life, try to change your personality. If not, let go of that person if you can. They don’t need that negativity in their life.
Things that are of no use or do not ‘Spark Joy’
Some of us are hoarders. I am for one do not buy many things, but once I buy its difficult for me to let go of things. This year I have realised that less is more. It can be with things, or even relationships or general life. Rather than doing too much of less value, do few things that are of more value. I like Marie Kondo’s ideas about organising, but I could never get to like ‘Spark Joy’ idea. What sparks joy to each person is different. A tooth paste might not spark joy to me but is of use, a necessity. Keep only things that spark joy, or if they are of sentimental value or necessary. Rest are just taking space in your house.
Imposter Syndrome
Growing up, I lacked confidence. Not in knowledge, as I was one of the best students. But generally in voicing my opinion, self-confidence and self-esteem. Over the years I have tried to improve upon this and still feel like I do have a long way to go probably especially being an introvert. Some of us constantly question ‘Am I good enough? Am I pretending? – showing classic features of Imposter Syndrome. I am already good enough and I don’t need to be perfect. There will always be things to learn and that’s what life is for. So, being more confident in what we have to say and do is an important thing to work on.
I’ll do it when… attitude
This is probably part of procrastination. It can be an, ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’. Tomorrow never comes. Or for example, ‘I’ll be happy when I earn more money’. Don’t wait for things. It might happen or not happen, but if you want to do it, like Nike says, ‘Just do it’. If you want to call that person, just call. There is no time like ‘Now’.
5 things to carry forward in 2021
Being kind to everyone including yourself
Everyone is fighting their own battle, which we might not know about. This year has shown us how kind people can be. From the little notes saying that they are here to help us when we were self-isolating to big gestures by many people in the world to help others financially or through providing meals for the needy. It might be easier to be kind to a stranger, but difficult to show that compassion to ourselves. We are always hard on ourselves. Remember you have done the best you can in your situation and with what cards that you have been dealt with. You don’t need to compare it to others life. Your journey is yours alone. Be proud of where you are, even if it’s being alive this year.
Self-Care
Your body and mind needs to be looked after well. Regular healthy meals can be missed during the busy days, but good nutrition will help you have more energy to work. Exercise keeps you active and fit. Reading keeps your mind healthy. Never let go of your health for more work/money/ income.
Cherishing family and friends
This year has let us remember and cherish our family, friends, and relationships. It’s been much easier to call that person whom you had been thinking of calling for a while. There is nothing like spending some quality time together with family and make the bonds stronger. If you are there to listen to children when they are young, they will talk to you when they are older. That’s what I believe in. In 2021, I hope we continue this, not be glued to the digital life, and make more memorable experiences rather than buying material things.
Perseverance but learn to move on when needed
It’s all well and good that we need to try until we succeed, and never quit. But sometimes you have to adjust to the change and move on. If you have tried several times and not been able to succeed, think hard and fast. Ask; is it the right thing for you? Why is it important for you to do it? Do you have the resources to do it? If you feel that it wasn’t for you, let go and focus on a new thing. Only constant in the world is change. Ability to adjust to that change makes you more resilient.
Positivity
This year has made us hope despite the bitterness endured through the year. Personally, I am not a positive person (I consider myself ‘Realist’). I need to know about all the consequences, have plan B ready at all times. I don’t sit and hope that things will get better. I try and make do with what I am given as best as I can. But having that positivity just makes you so much happier. So this New Year I will focus on looking at positive side of every situation and try to make the most of it.
So, let’s hope that 2021 will bring us health, happiness and joy, bring us more close to people and nature. Let’s spread the positivity.
Happy New Year!!!
Everything will be okay in the end and if it’s not OK, it’s not the end- John Lennon
Or as Shah Rukh Khan says in Om Shanthi Om- ‘Picture abhi baki hai mere dost’ (Movie is not finished, my friend!)
-Shwetha
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